{"id":1639,"date":"2017-09-28T09:54:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-28T09:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/?page_id=1639"},"modified":"2017-09-28T09:57:23","modified_gmt":"2017-09-28T09:57:23","slug":"highlights","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/highlights\/","title":{"rendered":"Highlights"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"pikode pikode--cols cols \" style=\"margin-left: -72px;\" ><div class=\"pikode--column pikode--column--8\" style=\"border-left-width: 72px;\"><p><span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;\" >Having a boring day<\/span> at the office or at uni, daydreaming about which bars or nightclubs you will be heading to this weekend? If so here is a few bar and nightclub jokes to break up the mediocrity of the daily grind.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A man walks into a bar<\/strong> and asks the bartender for 5 double shots.<span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;\" >The bartender<\/span>, a little surprised lines up the glasses and pours them out, assuming his mates are just round the corner. <span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;\" >The man,<\/span> calm as a coma, knocks each shot back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The bartenders<\/strong>, amazed by this feat of drinking turns to the man and goes \u201cthat\u2019s a big effort.\u201d The man replies \u201cyou would drink quickly too if you had what I\u2019ve got.\u201d Curiously the bartender asks <span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7ee47;  color: #636363;\" >\u201cwhat have you got mate.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--fill\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;  box-shadow: 0.21em 0px 0px #f7caca, -0.21em 0px 0px #f7caca;\" >A neutron<\/span>\u00a0walks into a bar and orders a drink and asks the bartender how much? The bartender replies\u00a0<span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;\" >\u201cno charge\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--fill\" style=\"background-color: #ee5c6c;  color: #ffffff;  box-shadow: 0.21em 0px 0px #ee5c6c, -0.21em 0px 0px #ee5c6c;\" >A man after having 27 drinks<\/span> at a nightclub decides to head home, grabs his car keys and heads to the car park. Struggling to walk, he finally gets to his car, takes him 3 goes to get the keys into the ignition, reverses into the car park wall and drives straight through the boom gate. Realising his wife is at home waiting for him, a decides to drive as fast as possible, swerving across the road erratically.<\/p>\n<p><em>A police car see\u2019s this and <span class=\"pikode pikode--highlight highlight--shadow\" style=\"background-color: #f7caca;  color: #636363;\" >pulls him over<\/span>. The copper asks the man \u201cmate do you know how fast you were going?\u201d The man replies \u201cHow the f&#8230; would I know, I\u2019ve just had 27 drinks.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/div><div class=\"pikode--column pikode--column--4\" style=\"border-left-width: 72px;\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2017\/09\/banana-highlight.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1642\" src=\"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2017\/09\/banana-highlight.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2017\/09\/banana-highlight.jpg 600w, https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/9\/2017\/09\/banana-highlight-200x300.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1639","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1639"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1652,"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1639\/revisions\/1652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ombra.pikarthouse.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}